a note for a friend

i remember back then..
12 years ago..in a state i've never been to..
about to be on my own..
in a place where i know nobody..
you were the first person there i smiled to..
and you smiled back at me..
memories lost..
and somehow we ended up as best friends..
it was damn hard parting with you 5 years later..
but..oh well..people change..
and i soon forgot about you..
for another special person..
years went by..contact was lost..
life was not all that good..work sucks..
love? the hell with it..
it was then i realized..
it's not a big deal losing a man..
they are jerks anyway..
but it's a big damn deal losing a friend..
especially someone you call a best friend..

if you are reading this..
i want to let you know that..
i'm sorry for all the time we've lost..
i'm sorry that i've never been there for you..
i'm sorry for not looking for you..
i'm sorry i couldn't protect you..
i'm sorry for everything..

and please know that i will always love you..